Mika & Reily Part 1

The birthday party incident.

Fall 2006

Mika

The blazing red cherry of Reily’s cigarette shone like a beacon as Mika crested the hill towards their favorite dive bar. He watched as Reily held the smoke in his lungs and replied to whatever had been said to him. Then he laughed loudly, smoke streaming out his nose and mouth. He glanced down the street catching sight of Mika, in his usual faded black jeans and high-top Chucks. A grungy band t-shirt was layered under his flannel, which was layered under his beat-up, patched denim coat. Hair that used to be a shining jet black (now looking dark grey with blonde roots grown out by two inches) was covered with a worn navy blue knit beanie, a mushroom and rainbow patch peeling away from the woolen material.

“Mika!” Reily waved.

Mika smiled and pulled his hand from his pocket waving back. He checked the street quickly then jogged across the last crosswalk reaching the bar perched on the corner.

“What’s up man?” Reily held out his hand for a high five. When Mika returned it Reily gripped his hand and pulled him into a hug. Wafts of cigarette smoke, crisp aftershave, and whiskey drifted up to his nose. His chest clenched and he felt heat rise to his cheeks.

“Hey Reily,” Mika said and nodded towards the other people standing outside smoking. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” Reily said releasing Mika from the hug. His black frame glasses were speckled with the rain that had been misting on and off all day. He took a deep drag off his cigarette then squished the rest into an overflowing ash tray by the door of the bar. He waved to the remaining smoking stragglers, blowing out his last puff of smoke as he spoke to Mika. “Let’s go in and get you a drink.”

“Alright,” Mika replied.

The bar was stuffy and packed with the people. The smell of wet wool coats and spilled beer permeated the air. Reily whipped off his glasses as they fogged in the stuffy warmth of the bar. He ran a hand through his brown locks, sending moisture spraying in all directions. Striking blue eyes glinting with glee turned back to Mika as they walked up to the bar. He wiped the foggy lenses of his glasses on his shirt, then shoved them back on his face.

“Can I get you a drink for your birthday Reily?” Mika asked.

“Sure! I’ve got one at the table, but I’ll finish it soon,” Reily said with a quick wink.

The music was loud near the bar, the speakers positioned so close it seemed like a problem. The bartenders were already grumpy and bothered enough without having to tell you to speak up. Mika reached out to Reily tugging on the sleeve of his worn leather coat. Reily turned quickly.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“What do you want?” Mika asked with a shout.

“Just a whiskey soda,” Reily replied.

Mika nodded and waved him on to the back of the bar where he knew the party was.

“Hey Mika.” Sandra always seemed to be working the bar. “What are you having?”

“Just a Rainer for me and a whiskey soda for Reily,” Mika shouted. Sandra nodded and grabbed a tall boy from the mini fridge popping it open for Mika.

“He’s been here awhile now,” Sandra said, raising an eyebrow as she poured Reily’s drink. “You’re late.”

“I know, I had a thing with my parents,” Mika said. The corners of his mouth turned down as he spoke and he felt heat prickle across his cheeks. “How much has he had already?”

Sandra shook her head and shrugged. “I really don’t know hon. He’s only come up to the bar once, but a lot of people at the party are ordering whiskey tonight.”

Reily’s alcohol of choice. Mika scraped a hand down his face then pulled his wallet from his pocket as Sandra set the drink in front of him.

“He doesn’t seem wasted,” Mika said.

“I don’t think he is,” Sandra replied taking Mika’s card. “Keep it open?”

“I guess.” Mika waved his hand. “Don’t let anyone but me and Reily charge to it though.”

“You’re too sweet for him Mika,” Sandra said, tapping the card on the bar.

“I know, I know!” Mika forced a smile, grabbed the drinks, and made his way to the back of the bar.

Reily’s birthday party occupied the entire back half of the place dominating the pool tables and dart boards. Mika scanned the rather large crowd and found Reily playing pool with Rodger. He was sipping from an almost empty drink as Rodger took his shot.

“Looks like you don’t need this quite yet,” Mika said as he approached Reily.

“I’ll still take it,” Reily said with a smile that set his blue eyes glittering once more. Mika fought against the flip of his stomach and the warmth that rose in his chest at that smile.

“Hey Mika!” Rodger said as he straightened up after missing his shot.

“Hey Rodger, how’s it going?” Mika asked, shucking off his denim jacket, draping it over the back of a chair. He tugged off his knit hat, shoving it into the pocket of his jacket before running a hand over his hair in an attempt to smooth it down.

“Can’t complain. How was the shoot yesterday?” Rodger asked.

Mika had met Rodger when he started filming for a local porn establishment, Her Pictures. The two had bonded over the fact that they had gone to film school and ended up in porn before realizing what an art form it could be. The fact that it was owned by women trying to break stereotypes about the medium was refreshing.

Mika sighed and shrugged before answering. “It was alright. Maxine was amazing as usual, but Jed kept bitching about his positioning.”

“He’s such a pain in the ass! I don’t understand why Heidi hired him.” Rodger sipped his drink.

“You don’t?” Mika asked with a sly smile as he held his hands aloft, hovering about eight inches apart.

“I know!” Rodger said with a laugh. “But I thought she wanted… you know a more… average look.” Mika returned the laugh and shrugged quickly.

The two men continued chatting about work while Reily sunk shot after shot at the pool table. Rodger knew he was going to lose the game when he started but he still couldn’t resist looking over every now and then, hoping he might get another shot. Ultimately, he ended up watching helplessly as he quickly lost the game.

“Man, you could make a killing hustling people,” Rodger said passing his pool cue to Mika.

“Nah, not my style,” Reily said airily. He picked up the drink Mika had gotten for him, already half gone in the time it took him to win the game and gulped down the rest. “Come outside with me Mika?”

“Alright,” Mika agreed. He set the pool cue on the table for the next player then slid on his jacket quickly. After one last swig of his beer, he abandoned it on a table where Reily’s leather jacket claimed a chair.

Sandra caught his eye as he walked by and raised her eyebrows as the two men went outside. He shrugged and she shook her head.

Outside Reily pulled his cigarettes from his pocket offering one to Mika who slid one from the pack. A cheap plastic lighter was produced, allowing Mika to light up before Reily held the flame to his own cigarette.

Mika inhaled deeply and closed his eyes with a small smile at the rush of nicotine swirling dizzily through his head. Reily chuckled watching him.

“What?” Mika asked, opening his eyes.

“No, nothing,” Reily began, taking a quick drag. “I’m just jealous of how fun smoking is for you.”

“The trick, Rye, is to not do it all the fucking time,” Mika said with a note of scolding.

“Ah, yeah. In an ideal world, huh?” Reily said. Mika scoffed and took another drag. “So. You were late Meeks.”

“Mika is already a nickname, you don’t need to shorten it,” Mika said quietly, staring at the glowing tip of his cigarette.

“Meeks,” Reily said. Mika’s shoulders hunched.

“What?” he asked sharply.

“Are you OK?” Reily asked.

“Yeah, I’m fucking fine,” Mika said. Reily was silent watching him with raised eyebrows. He flicked the filtered end of his cigarette quickly, the ash falling off the tip in a perfect clump. “It was just their usual bullshit.”

“Was Pastor Fuckface there?” Reily asked acidly.

“You know he was Reily,” Mika shot back.

“They can’t keep doing this to you Mika,” Reily said, his voice pitching up in volume, cheeks reddening as he gestured with one hand.

“What am I supposed to do Reily? I can’t afford my own place, I have to keep doing this conversion therapy…torture unless I want to be fuckin’ homeless,” Mika said. “You fuckin’ grilling me every time it happens doesn’t fuckin’ help!”

Mika angrily squashed the remainder of his cigarette into the ashtray and turned to go back inside.

“Mika! Stop!” Reily said grabbing his arm.

He pushed his own cigarette into the watery sand and pulled Mika towards him. A cold hand gripped the back of Mika’s neck, and he was pulled gently towards Reily. Their foreheads pressed together, and Mika closed his eyes at the pricking in his eyes, the heat in his cheeks, the desire to pull Reily’s entire body to his.

“I’m sorry Meeks,” Reily whispered. “You’re right, I’m a fuckin’ asshole. I’m sorry, OK? I just get…so fuckin’ mad for you.”

His hand tightened at his neck and Mika’s hands came to rest on Reily’s hips of their own accord. Reily took a step towards him, his other hand ran up his bicep and rested on his neck as well, interlacing with the first. Mika was motionless, still fighting that desire to pull Reily to him, press his mouth to…he squeezed his eyes shut and tears escaped.

“Fuck,” he muttered. Reily watched the tears squeeze from Mika’s eyes and brought his thumbs to his friend’s cheeks catching them and wiping them away. He took another tentative step forward. Mika’s hands slid around Reily’s hips to his low back gripping his flannel shirt.

“I’m sorry Mika,” Reily said again. Mika finally pulled back and shook his head, putting some distance between him and Reily. He scraped his hands over his cheeks.

“No man, I’m sorry,” Mika said. “You’re right. I just need to save enough money to move out. This fuckin’ city’s so expensive.” Mika barked out a watery laugh and sniffed roughly.

Reily gripped his shoulder for a minute and gave him a little shake.

“You could move in with me,” Reily said. Mika snorted. “I’m serious man. I’ve asked you before and you always say no.”

“Your place is tiny Rye. It’s barely legal,” Mika said.

“Hey! It’s legal!” Reily said.

“Sure, whatever man. Tell that to your windowless ‘bedroom,’” Mika said curling his fingers into air quotes. “We should head back in. People will wonder where you are.”

“Let ‘em wonder.” Reily pulled Mika into a tight hug. Mika inhaled the scent of him; the smell of whiskey was stronger now. It was obvious that Reily was starting to teeter on tipsy, and the touching, the flirtations, would only get worse.

“Ahh, come on Rye. You’re the birthday boy! Don’t keep ‘em waiting!” Mika pulled away quickly.

“Alright, alright!” Reily finally gave in, and the two men walked back into the bar.

Mika glanced back at the table where he’d left his beer and saw it was missing. He rolled his eyes and ordered another. Reily ordered another whiskey and challenged Mika to some pinball. The two played, with Mika roundly beating Reily. He insisted on a rematch and ordered another whiskey.

“You think maybe it’s time to switch to beer? Or water?” Mika asked as Reily stood close to him. One of his hands rested low on Mika’s hips.

“Nah, I’m all good!” Reily said.

“Drink some water Rye,” Mika suggested again.

“Alright! Geez!” Reily said. He went to the free water jug and made a huge show of filling a plastic cup, which he gulped down, followed quickly by a second.

Reily made his way back to Mika wiping his lips.

“There, happy?” he asked pressing his thigh against Mika’s, a finger threaded through one of his belt loops.

“Sure,” Mika said.

A few hours later, Mika was chatting with a small group of their friends when he heard Reily’s raucous laughter. By the sound of it, he was well and truly drunk now. Part of Mika was thrilled, knowing what Reily was likely to suggest, and part of him dreaded it.

He scanned the dwindling party crowd and found Reily sitting at a table with a group of women he’d never met before. He was talking animatedly with his hands. Another half empty drink sat in front of him. Mika filled a plastic glass with water from the jug and brought it Reily.

“Don’t say I never got you anything,” Mika said as he came up next to Reily.

“Meeks!” Reily shouted. Mika winced at the slight slur of his words, forcing another smile. “This is my best friend, Mika. Mika this is…”

Reily gestured to the women, one looking truly annoyed that he couldn’t recall their names (probably their designated driver for the night entirely too sober for this crowd).

“I’m Melanie, this is Greta and Ana,” one woman slurred quickly.

“Hi. Mika,” he said pressing the water into Reily’s hand. It was promptly set aside undrunk.

“That’s a cool name,” Ana, the grumpy one said. “Is it short for something?”

“Mikael,” Mika replied sitting down in the empty chair where he’d draped his denim jacket.

“Michael?” Greta asked.

“Mikael,” Mika sighed. “It’s Finnish.”

“Finish what?” Greta slurred.

“Oh my god,” Ana said, rolling her eyes, then glanced apologetically at Mika. “Finnish like Finland.”

“Meeks and I have been best friends for a long time,” Reily said slinging an arm over his shoulder.

“That’s so sweet,” Melanie said eyes glistening.

“Um, you guys, I think…” Greta stood abruptly and rushed to the bathroom.

“Ooohhh nooo!” Melanie cooed standing and going after Greta.

“Fuck,” Ana groaned, her head dropping back for a moment. “Reily, happy birthday. We better go.”

Ana followed her friends into the small bathroom. Mika watched as a few other women came out of the bathroom with disgusted looks on their faces. One went and spoke to a bartender who grimaced but nodded, then came around the bar with a mop bucket.

“Jesus,” Reily mumbled watching the scene unfold. “Poor…whatever her name was.”

“Greta,” Mika said.

“I’m glad you’re here Meeks,” Reily said.

“Me too Rye,” Mika said.

“I know I made you mad earlier,” Reily said as he tightened his arm around Mika bringing his mouth close to his ear. “But you’re fucking perfect Meeks. Don’t let your fucking parents tell you otherwise. I love you, you’re perfect,” Reily said passionately.

Mika chuckled but dragged a thumb under his eyes quickly then cleared his throat. Reily often told him how perfect he was, how he shouldn’t change, shouldn’t try to be straight for his parents.

“Thanks, Reily,” Mika said.

Reily kissed his neck, right below his ear, his hot breath wafted over his skin. A wave of hot arousal coursed through him. Mika gripped the hand Reily had draped over his shoulder and loosened the grip.

“Stop it, Reily,” Mika said.

“I love you Meeks,” Reily said pulling him back to him tightly.

“I know Reily,” Mika said. “But only when you’re wasted.”

“That’s not true,” Reily breathed into his ear.

Mika puffed out a breath and melted into Reily’s side for a second. They had been close since the day they met in high school. Reily was one of the only people to befriend the weird new kid. He was the first person Mika came out to. He had lost his virginity to Reily, but he never showed any romantic interest. He only showed sexual interest in Mika when he was wasted.

It had become a routine. Reily would get drunk or high, he would hook up with Mika, and then the next morning he would act as if it hadn’t happened. Mika told himself he wasn’t going to do this tonight. No matter how much Reily begged, no matter how much he wanted to do it. It was unhealthy. Reily clearly had some stuff he needed to sort out. Mika couldn’t let himself be collateral damage in Reily’s journey.

“Meeks,” Reily groaned. He kissed his neck again. Mika’s breath caught in his throat. “Follow me for a second.”

Mika looked around. Most everyone was otherwise occupied, playing darts, chatting to each other, playing pool, no one noticed when Reily stood up. Mika suddenly felt very warm. He pulled off his flannel draping it on top of his denim jacket. Reily took his hand and pulled him up.

“Please,” he said with a small smile. “Come with me.”

Mika sighed and waved a hand. Reily led him to the bathroom where Mika caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

“Geez,” he said, wetting his hands at the sink trying to smooth down the hair that stuck out at odd angles. “Has my hair been like this all night?”

A man at one of the urinals finished up, rinsed his hands and left quickly. Mika didn’t notice when Reily locked the door after the man left.

“Stupid fucking hair,” Mika said as Reily came up behind him. He wrapped his arms around his torso, planting a kiss at the back of his neck just above the neck of his t-shirt. “Reily! What are you doing?”

“Don’t worry Meeks,” Reily said. He dragged his tongue up his neck to his ear and sucked the lobe into his mouth. Mika’s eyes closed and he let out a sighing moan as tingling heat raced down his neck, coiling low in his stomach. Reily knew all his weak spots, every area that riled Mika up. His hips pressed forward, and Mika could feel Reily’s firm bulge against his ass.

“This is the fucking bathroom, Rye,” Mika groaned as Reily began to stroke at the front of his jeans.

“It’s OK, doors locked,” Reily said, rubbing his hands over the swelling front of Mika’s jeans.

“Reily, stop!” Mika said, turning and grabbing Reily’s wrists.

“Ow, hey!” Reily whined. His badly smudged glasses were askew on his face. Mika fought against the urge to straighten them out, to clean the lenses.

“You have to stop this Reily,” Mika said. There was a pleading in his voice that he hated, but he couldn’t do this anymore.

He had fallen in love with Reily a long time ago. His habit of getting drunk and hooking up with Mika made it impossible for him to build anything meaningful with anyone else. To date he’d had no actual relationships, only numerous hookups at clubs, concerts or in the park. There had been a few men who had expressed interest in seeing him again, but Mika never followed through with them. It was beginning to wear away at him, wondering if he would ever find someone that he clicked with the way Reily did.

“What do you mean?” Reily asked. His cheeks burned red, and his eyes glassed over sending a sickening wave of guilt through Mika’s gut. He sighed, leaned back on the counter, and dropped his head, releasing his grip on Reily’s wrists.

“You just keep doing this Rye,” Mika said bringing his gaze back up. “Whenever you get drunk, we end up hooking up. But then in the morning it’s back to being bros. I just…I can’t keep doing that.”